No Romance Without Finance

What can you do for me indeed....

on to the next one......

OVERHEARD: "Girl...He should be helping you with your expenses a little bit more. He is far more comfortable than you. If he cares for you, he should provide for you to prove it....I mean I know he was helping you out before, but what about now?"

(what is this? What Have You Done for me Lately? "I know he used to do nice stuff for you, but what has he done for you lately?")

on to the next one.....

This weekend I was listening to my “over him” mix tape a friend of mine made while she was going through her big D-I-V-O-R-C-E while cleaning the house.

You know damn near every chick has one of those playlists they listen to when they need to feel all strong, confident, and, over him, I suppose.

So anyway, I was dusting the ceiling fan and Irreplaceable came on.

I’ve heard the song …MANY times before, but you know how being at different places in life make you think about different things? Yeah so, listening to it on Sunday made me really sad for the fictional woman in the song. While I was was glad she was able to end an unfaithful relationship, her lyrics made it glaringly apparent that she was going to turn around and make the EXACT same mistake again with the next dude.

In her attempts to prove her strength and her emotional fortitude, she actually exposed the folly of her ways and how she most likely ended up in the predicament she was in.

Dude clearly ain't the only one who doesn't know about her....

It suddenly became glaringly apparent to me why so many people on twitter/facebook etc sound so bitter and jaded about love.

If dude was such an a-hole, why would you want another one “in a minute?” It seems that perhaps Lady Bey should listen to her own lyrics and perhaps upgrade herself. Hmmmm….

on to the next one….

A few weeks ago, lil’woadie from Tappahannock, va dropped his new single. Since his last “baby I’m sorry” track was in the vein of admitting his wrong doing, when I heard that the title of the new track involved transforming, I was overjoyed thinking that finally someone had the cohones to take onus of their actions and make a song with some heartfelt sentiment.

I thought he was actually going to open up and step away from childish things, you know, cause he’s a man now, (When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 1 Corinthians 13:11) and do something impressive on the track. My surprise upon listening to the lyrics was almost as intense as my surprise at looking at the leggings.

AAAOOOOOWWW I SEE YOU MISS CHRIS….BEESSH YOU BEDDA WEEERRRRKKK!!!!

(Sorry for the back to back Mechanical Dummy posts....)

Ahem...

And yeah, I quoted scripture and spoke faghag in the same post. I told y'all, like Gaga, everything I do is for God & the Gays....Come for me...

on to the next one....

Why does everyone want to play Dr. Frankenstein with their lovers and then shake their fist at their creation expecting retribution or gratitude?

SIDEBAR: Did anyone else hear the clip of Bob Whitfield laying his ex wife Sheree out for using his last name and income and trying to portray him like a deadbeat loser? He actually said he felt like Dr. Frankenstein ‘cause he gave her that nose, those boobs, and now she was running around the lab tearing up shit.

CLASSIC.

In all honesty, if you love someone, why would you want to change who they are? What is your motivation, to show you can do it, or because you genuinely want to help someone you care about?

I know some of my more loyal viewers may be puzzled because I have referred to myself as The Svengali of Love and have transformed or upgraded a few dudes in my lifetime. Though I may joke and call it community service, when I did it, it was done as a means to grow together; we both changed through being with and loving one another. Neither of us was sitting up on high acting like Pygmalion and play the role of creator for the other nor were either of us throwing it back in the face of the other at a later and more bitter time. Well....at least I know I didn't do that LAME SHIT.

Where’s the benevolence in that?

If you have to itemize what you do/did for someone, that isn’t love. You're not claiming nobody on your taxes. Sit the fuck down & shut the fuck up and actually write a song about SOMETHING.

Love doesn’t come with a price tag. If it does, it don’t matter if you got it, it’s still tricking dumbass.

It feels like people are always talking out of both sides of their neck about their finances one minute professing their extreme opulence and the next lamenting purchases made for the unworthy.

It’s no wonder no one is happy or hopeful when thinking about or talking about love. No one makes love songs anymore. All you hear is rhythmic cacophony professing individual punani/peen prowess and earning/spending potential.

The world has become a strip club turned on its ear.

Why do we have to pay for it, financially to prove that we mean it? I'm not going to be fool enough to say that "My Love Don't Cost a Thing," but what it costs you can't get at the ATM or from a credit line increase.

Can you buy THAT?

How can the next generation grow up with any hope for fulfilling relationships if all they’re worried about is finding someone who can tell ‘em to “Throw it in the Bag?” I worry about the mixed messages these songs are sending to the babies. Seriously.

Is you a keeper because you recognize and respect that I’m “Irreplaceable,” or because you make me wanna be your “Sugar Momma” and “Go and buy you a short set.”

Am I a good chick ‘cause I’m “Miss Independent” and you can say “She Hot Her Own” when talking about me to the homies, or am I fly because you tell me “You Can Have Whatever You Like” like a kept concubine. Whatever I like hunh? WORD?

How much does a soft kiss when I wake up cost?

Does Saks have fidelity on their racks?

Does your credit limit cover evenings of good conversation?

What’s the going rate on honesty?

Can you cop me a happily ever after at your jewelers?

What if you can’t get me what I like with your Black or Red Amex, then what? What else do you have to offer?

Sigh…

On to the next one…..

XOXOXO SMOOCHES!!!

SHINE ON!!!