I wanna thank you....

"The Muses in Greek mythology, poetry, and literature are the goddesses or spirits who inspire the creation of literature and the arts. " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muse

Ahhh to be a creative visited by a muse & inspired by him/her to hone your craft, to polish your works, to create something of value to someone else because you have been so inspired by another, well that's just a truly awesome feeling.

I've had a couple of dudes over my lifetime that I credited with being my muse because the works I created while with them most often poetry, always had me look back on them like, "Damn, really? I wrote that shit?"

Much like having a couple of great loves throughout life, I feel like you could have a couple of muses if you're open and aware to their presence in your life.

Sounds awesome right?

You have a person who makes you feel so strongly that you are forced to create art in response to how you're feeling. What could be wrong with this?

Well I'll tell you dear viewer.

For me, when I'm with someone, I only write well, and write a lot when it's shitty, awful, or over.

Surpreese surpreese that right around now I'm doing a blog a day?

Not really. I need something to fill up all the hours in the day I used to spend talking about you, thinking about you, dreaming of you....as a result, I look at the calendar and I'm shocked @ how long it's been since I saw, spoke to, thought of you....until....

I got a little sad about it just now, but I'll keep pretending as long as you don't call my bluff.

I tried to recently call it quits with yet another would be muse. And I really thought it was for real this time...DENIED. I don't do that classic chick flick movie shit. I don't stress eat and get fat, I don't disappear off the face of the earth. I write my frustrations out. If what I know is the hurt from some level of disrespect I've suffered from your lack of consideration, then I'm going to write a story, poem, play, or most recently blogpost, and share it with the world to vindicate myself.

I am not alone in this artistic self therapy. Matt Hartley did the same thing when he felt f*%ked over by Betty on Ugly Betty. He made all those hideous portraits of her. Artists deal with emotions through their craft. Passion is handled or dismissed with greater passion.

I'm not even the least bit cranky or upset about it. Maybe I'm a little masochistic.

(I always knew I liked a lil kink, but not James Franco-bodypillow kink.)

I seem to enjoy the hurt, the angst, the DRAMA because I know that ultimately, I'll get a good piece out of it. No! Not that piece you naughty little viewer!

Whether I'm tortured because I can't see you, the royal you, or bc I know you're elsewhere when you should be with me, the pangs I feel within drive me to write. Detailed, wet with emotion, teardrop on my pillow pieces that appeal to others.

Tragic hurt and sadness are universal sentiments that everyone can relate to. Why do u think ♥ songs do as well as they do? Either the listener's going through what they're hearing, or they're longing for someone to feel it with. Look at Mary J. Blige, would she have done as well as she had if she hadn't been able to appeal to the hurt so many women felt for eeeeleeehvon years?

So, to the dudes who thought they got over cause I shed a tear or two, or the ones who didn't recognize the precious cargo they carried with them when I willingly offered my heart, or the ones who were too busy being a puddle to appreciate the vastness of the oceans I wld've sailed with them,

I'd like to thank you.

Thank you for reminding me that there was always something more important than you in my life.

The novelty of you only clouded my focus & had me distracted like watching the curls of smoke dance away.

So why'd I keep you around? The IDEA of you is what kept me going and motivated me. The POSSIBILITY of what may come is what makes me stick around and remain fascinated by the base actions some of you committed or by the overwhelming ennui I've felt from immersing myself in your (talentless) passion.

Nonetheless, thank you.

Thank you for the comical.
Thank you for the stupid.

Thank you for the passion filled debates.
Thank you for the thoughtless.

Thank you for the sweet moments.
Thank you for the misleading forehead kisses.

Thank you for the sweet moments when you held my hand.

Thank you for inspiring me by being who u are/were.

Most of all, thank you for giving me fodder to write about.

SMOOCHES!!!

SHINE ON!!!